Why people date other marrieds?
Speak about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be fraught with problems, cause misery, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual education, shame, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married man date.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking an affair. I think mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the real world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people are able to switch the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against married dating. For many people the yearnings will overcome their worries and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your spouse or anybody else? You would need to lessen the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major group, very big actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel comfy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the children to consider. Your savings are so entwined. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair sometimes solves the trouble while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, usually the husband is sexually neglecting his wife for a large humber of reasons. As a male I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us guys of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is vanished, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.